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Are Gays Less Committed?

DEAR Q&D Are Gays Less Committed? Q: Due to the intolerance of homosexuality in our society, LGBT individuals have not been able to live openly and form relationships in the past.  LGBT couples More »

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Are Gays Less Committed?

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DEAR Q&D

Are Gays Less Committed?

Q: Due to the intolerance of homosexuality in our society, LGBT individuals have not been able to live openly and form relationships in the past.  LGBT couples haven’t had a model to base their relationships after, except those of heterosexuals.  The problem with this lies in the inequity between gays and straights.  Straights have the support of the community and the society to encourage and maintain relationships. There are cultural structures and institutions set in place to support heterosexual relationships that don’t exits for gay relationships such as the institution of marriage, financial security, gender roles, children, etc.

Religion also plays a role in the traditional view of monogamy and divorce, which contributes to the success rates of heterosexual relationships – at least the appearance of.  So there are more extrinsic reward for straights to stay together.  Yes, they often last longer, but does time earned equate time spent healthy, happy, and fulfilled? Not always the case.

Does this mean that we can’t forge sustainable and committed relationships?  No, we absolutely can.

D: As the nation’s acceptance of LGBT people slowly increases (at a snail’s pace), we as a community have to also do our part in creating an atmosphere that is nurturing to gay relationships.  It’s time for a new face, a new philosophy. Far too long have we accepted the notion of serial-monogamy, which is only a nice term for ‘sleeping around with people you know’. I will get a lot of critics with this one, but when will the gay sexual revolution be over? It has proven to serve no real purpose, but to drive HIV infection rates through the roof.  It’s time the community grew up.  It was a phase.  When will we mature?  How long are we going to keep behaving like pre-pubescent teens?

I’m not telling people not to get their freak on, heaven knows our views and definition of monogamy are very unorthodox, but can’t we be doing it more often with the intent to settle down? The widely-accepted gay hyper-sexual culture is no longer benefiting us. It served its purpose in the 60′s and 70′s when we were rebelling against homophobia and anti-gay sentiment.  And though those oppositions still exist, we are losing our numbers to the outbreak of the AIDS pandemic.

Sex and sexuality are part of who we are, and to deny that would be foolish, but we need to own it and accept the huge responsibility that comes along with it.  We are killing each other.

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RT @centerblacklgbt: May/June @SWERVmagazine includes an interview w/ @dlchronicles creators “Real Life Dynamic Duo” @thegossfields (@deondraygossett + @QLenear) via @thegossfields